heads

i definetly need to focus on a prpose everytime i do something..uhm..and think before drawing...

day of structure

1st: ref>i tried to get balance and rythm in the gesture first and then work on the form. there are some problems with the structure of it. it looks like its falling, problably a problem in the gesture and carried over. also it doesn´t really feel that the hand and feet are supporting the weight. they should both be a bit more on the right probably.
2nd: mind> at the beginning it was supposed to be a basketball player, then i made it another interpretation. i like the gesture but the legs crossing really don´t work. His left leg is probably 2 times the other one ahaha. uhm... it looks a bit skinny i think, maybe flat aswell...i probably didn´t accentuate the 3 dimensionality very well. especially in the left leg and torso. The pelvis is wrong on the side, it´s like collapsing on itself =p and he has no butt.
3rd: ref+mind> started from a photo, did gesture and construction and then drew over it. I really find that mmagination is what is stopping me. I don´t think while i draw, probably cause i try to do them both at the same time, and it´s hard to draw something you haven´t yet decided upon.
So for example i´m drawing the arm and i have the pen ready and try to think while i draw. and it goes like: "i think her arm should probably... have..." and meanwhile i have already traced the same lines i had previously copied from the photo, and added some random other lines following the form. At that point i start thinking like, ok i don´t have ideas, i want to finish this because it´s 1 am and i needed to finish an hour ago, so let´s just draw something. This is the point where i can choose wheter i should think or paint, and i know now that the right choise is think. But it looks so hard when i´m there, and i still have no subconcious messages telling me to do it eheh But i know that drawing is just a from of expressing what you think. Like talking and writing. If you don´t have anything to say, you wouldn´t talk, or be prepared to say stupid stuff. The same goes for drawing, but i´m noticing that the act of drawing is becoming more of something i must do, rather than something i´m inspired to do.
I mean i don´t think: "aha! i have this crazy idea, let´s draw it!. "
i actually think: "ok i have to draw something to get better, let´s draw something" usually that something is based on no idea, as i don´t take my timethinking about what i´m gonna draw.
this is something i should stop asap, otherwise it could become a bad habit!! eheh
i wanna sleep now,
bye xD

hej!
i´m in italy now, i was yesterday aswell, and there is much more stuff going on here, so drawing, and concentrating on my plan is being quite hard. I knew it would hae been so, but i´m taking it as a test of my willpower hehe.
i noticed that some habits i´ve been trying to develope are actually paying off now.
1. everytime try not to do something cause i´m lazy, i subconscioulsy impose my-self to do that
2. i´m starting to listen to this subconscious part, and actually doing it =)

it works 60% of the time now, i think i was at like 10% 2 weeks ago eheh. But really every time i actually do something i don´t want to do, i end up feeling better. I think it depends on me being actually in control of what i´m doing, rather than just drifting away along the day heh. i have asked my self why then, i´m actually trying not to do certain/most of the things in the first place. If i think about it now, i guess it´s because most of the times they are not planned and even if they are simple tasks, it´s easier to continue on our way rather than stop, do the task, and the continue. By easy i mean...you don´t have to change your plans/mind/idea. Also, most of the times i experience this is because i´m already drifting away along the day...if i´m active and focused on something, and then positive, i can do most of the sudden and unplanned tasks. Of course i´m used not to do them, so the first reaction is trying no to do them, and justifying this, but then my other unconsious habit (forcing myself to do what i don´t want to do) kicks in, and i start thinking that i should do it. Now at this point if i´m in an active and positive state of mind i would do it, and then feel in control of my life and better and so on...otherwise i would not do that and then complain for not having done that...eheh.
The curious thing is that this continues to happen, and at times i´m consious of doing the wrong thing, but i go for it anyway =(
Another interesting thing is that at the time when i have to chose between doing and not doing something, that things appears like the hardest and more complicated thing in the world, even if everytime i do it, or think about it after a while, it always proves to be something really simple. That is to say that really, the thing that matters the most is the way you look at it. =)


p.s. yes i the stuff that comes first was wrote after =) hehe (because it was a commentary to the sketches, wich i comment after writing the other thoughts.. =) )
pp.s. hey nightvision thanks for your support! love the stuff you´re doing, keep it up!

sleepy

i fell easleep whil edoing the third one and could just paint a green and yellow blob after that. I haven´t slept in 2 days, so i´ll do that now....=)

today

1st : photo
2nd: mind
3rd: photo and added some wings
won´t be able to upload stuff today as i´ll be sleeping at the airport, so i did some quick sketches just to keep this going every day. =)
i´ll post today´ skteches tomorrow.
each sketch took about 5 mins. i´m really in a hurry =)

the day of the feet!

1st and 2nd: photo: i chose the first because i thought it was tricky. and it really was, but it helped me understand how to think the foot better. I guess my way of undertanding it is thinking about the dorsal part and how it connects to the 1st metatarsal bone in either the tibia or fibula side. And then relate it to those 2 bones. once i find that part (same for the hand) i can understand the placing of the foot and draw it. From the palm side it harder, as i don´t have these guidelines, so i try to use the basic shape of the palm, and then try to connect it to the metatarsal again and up to the fibula/tibia. I also have some general landmarks of were and how these key parts are placed: thumb side metatarsal bone is halfway from tip to toe, attachment of the fibula is more or less at 1/4 lenght of the foot, wich corresponds to the middle of the tibia. all of these is from side view, also the dorsal part of te metatarsal bones starts more or less at 1/2 of the lenghts of the feet. These are just landmarks that help me get the things more or less right to start with. Then i can tweak as needed.

3rd:mind: i wanted to stick to the feet. At the beginning i intended to draw a page of feet in different positions and perspectives, but i remembered that the excercize was to to immaginative stuff, and i had this idea of doing a feet character, like a cartoon character. as i blocked in i started to see this sort of uhm..strange thing, snakelike, with in origin 5 heads, then i neglected the character to get a good composition and some background and foreground, and then i started wrapping, and then fix composition again, and colors, and then i had a crappy creature in a half decent picture =) i should think more of a better workflow next time. Composition first!!! then the focal point =) and then the bg if there is time =) again it was fun, but i´m a bit disappointed, i had some nice ideas for the mini-totoros (xD) but ended up neglecting most of the painting to fix composition. paint, paint over, repaint, repaint over and so on, wasting of a lot of time =) (did i mention that i forgot to upres it? loool this is the original size =p)

4th: mind/ref: ok it was late and i needed to sleep (then i´m spnding 40minutes to write here =p ) i started from a photo, a really cool, wich made me thing of some tentacle monsters, coming from the foot. Then i saw that the dorso of the foot was a perfect shell, and the foot became a 5 headed gastropod. Each head should be different. Uhm...when i was studying creatures last week, i found that there was a giant creature made of more other creatures, like a colony. I wanted to create something similar but with different heads...uhm..the sketch is small and hard to se anything, i wanted to do it small to keep me from spending lots of time, as i wanted to sleep...but while doing it i thought i was a stupid choise, and i still do think so=)


aha, ok the first day of my new plan went quite good. I drew a lot, i feel like i learnt a bunch on the feet. I´m now quite confident in drawing them.

There are some thhings working well and some thins not working wel in my plan.

what is working is that i´m focused and when i´m focused i learn. I feel like i´m thinking about what i´m doing, what i´m drawing, what i´m studying and i lfeel like i learn. I´m more positive as i have everything more or less under control, and even if something doesn´t go as planned i can still modify the plan, but the plan remains, it´s just different, so i still have control over the day. I´m very productive, really a lot, compared to yesterday for example or any other day. Even if i didn´t nail the whole plan, due to real life, or some technical inconviniences, still when i set down to draw, or to paint, i was painting only. I wasn´t taking pauses to chat on msn (except on those "work" related) and i wasn´t surfing on internet (except for searching reference or clarification on the subect i was studying)
Even if i wasn´t 100% focused all the time i was drawing, (maybe thinking about something else), still as soon as i noticed i wasn loosing focus i got back on track. I´m starting to listen to my inner voice, telling me to stick to the stuff i should be doing, untill i´m done. and yes it feels good =)

what didn´t work i think is that the time is really, really low to do other things. Say that i want to meet friends or play drums, or simply take some time to do a chow or comment on someone´s sketchbook, most of the free time i have is during lunch break or dinner break. hehe of course right now its a busy end on winter, and lots of work will get ot of the way after december, but still it feels pretty tight =) especially if real life kicks in and i have to like take a plane togo home (tomorrow) or got some christmas dinner and stuff =p
There would be no problem in simply delay the deadlines, but i decided deadlines mostly to get a good skill progression quite fast, in order to repeat the process if necessary. (ie. study anatomy, then creatures, then idw, and then back from anatomy). This is because it´s impossible to learn everything i study all at once, and by restudying the same subject after a certain period of time will get me a different and deeper understanding of it, since i have more knowledge to build upon.
Another thing that doesn+´t work yet, is that i think i need to set some time to actually review all i learnt after each study. Otherwise a good part of it will go wasted, or remain subconscious. At least it feels like this now.
And i need to be more focused during the act of studying, understand how things are and store it.
Today i understood my deepest failure in life drawing. I wasn´t doing life drawing to learn, i was doing it to draw a nice model, even though i told to my-self that it was not so. I wasn´t really drawing what was there. I think that subconsciously while drawing and thus not looking at the model, i was actually drawing from the mind, as i couldn´t see the model. Sometimes i would stop and analyze how things really were but most of the times not. And then i found my self looking at the model and then at the paper, and wondering how can i have the leg straight if the model´s leg is bent =) or something like that.

anyway i neeeeed sleep =)

take action immediately!

1st and 2nd: photo. tried to focus on proportion and gesture. I think the proportions are ok, the structure is a bit lacking in the first, bette rin the second. Got problems with foreshorening and change of axis in general. Especially in the first on the bent leg doesn´t really have a precise position in space. Also i should work with cleaner lines, otherwise it gets all messy =(

3rd: ref/noref: Used a photo ref for the pose, then tried to get some clothing on, but i had scribbled so many lines on top of him, that i had to scribble even more to get some clothing on top of him, the result: mess!!!! i gave up as i thought it was hopeless =§

4th: no ref: yesterday and the day before i studied some staging and composition related to environment desing. so i tried to make something out of it, and prove to myself that i could do some interesting thumbnails. I think the composition is ok, they are simple, not crowded, they guide to the focal point very easily (except the 1st and the last one =)). Most of them don´t show any mood or story behind the image. Mostly because i didn´t really have any in mind =§ my process was start with nothing in mind, and try to get inspired by what i was drawing. i drew slow and using different brushes for every thumbnail (airbrushed used in all to the get values together). But after getting the first inspiration, like : "oh cool let´s do like a mountain that looks like a myriapoda!" then i didn´t really create a story behind the piece, or a mood that should come through.
One exception was the thumbnail in the top-right corner. I wanted to do something different, and start from a story. So i took a piece of the warcraft lore, where these huge titans rule over worlds and they try to bring equilibrium everywhere and so on, and i tried to think of a possible place for them to live. And immagined that someone was to find that place, and it would look giant and scary..but again...i feel like it failed in a classic: mountain with a skull head. If i think about it now there are lots of ideas, moods, and sories i could have come up with, but when i was doing it i just found it hard to think and paint at the same time...and i usually painted rather than think. =)

so, after doing the plan, i then forced me to take action immediately!
i wrote in the plan that as a way to evaluate my progress i should realy on some numbers (maybe i´ve put too many, but it´s a start).
So instead of starting from tomorrow with 3 studies posted here, and 1 in the sketchbook, i´ll start from today!
i won´t be able to comment on other artists stuff cause i need sleep in order to begin my plan of action tomorrow with a good start =)

Plan of action

so today i spent most of the day doing nothing significant, as i didn+t really know what to do. I had a list of things i knew i needed to do, but i didn´t really know where to start, and having other projects taking most of my time i was there thinking, what should i do?, what should i do? so the day passed and at about 4 in the evening i had only done a 30min environment sketch (done in the morning to prove to myself that i could work fast if concentrating on working from general to specific, and ending up loosing focus after 20mins...mostly cause i didn´t think of working more on it in the first place).
So at 4 i committed to the idea of writing down a plan of all the things i needed to do in orther to get a job at blizzard as an artist. I had already done it 2 times, but i this time i tried to make it more specific using the knowledge gathered from the previous 2. Uhm i found that i tended to have quite vague goals in the plan..a part from the final goal, all the others like: "achieve a superior knowledg of anathomy" were not real goals, as they weren´t really measurable. I tried to make a more specific plan then, don´t know if it´s specific enough but at least i have broken it down to weekly tasks. i found out that if i wake up a morning knowing what i have to do, and being able to plan my day, being in control of my actions, i´ll be more productive, more active, happier and focused. So my intent is to decide the evening before upon what will be my goal for the upcoming day, and so that i can think about it all night and then wake up with lots of energy to pull it off. Some goals are still a bit obscure to me, but i plan on getting more specific when i´ll start taking care of them. I´ve set weekly deadlines as i really have no clue how much time each task would take, and i find that a week is a measurable distance on wich to plan so that i can say: this is the "learn all the muscles week", and then every day say: "this is the learn the head muscles day", and " this is the hand muscles day" and so on...i find that it helps me being focused on my goals during the day, and give me a purpose. I´m still a bit lost in this overwhelming number of suff i have to learn, and being the first time i actually try to make a plan of action i can´t really predict how well it will work. but i´ve already wixed it a couple times in the last 2 weeks, i´m ready to do it again eheh.

Things i´m not sure about and could use help are:
1. Are all the goals measurable? especially the ones with a ø near them. I didn´t really know what to write there. All this requirements i took from the blizzard web-site and some are a bit hard to understand =) like what is a blueprint? is it like an ortho? something you give the modelers to create a 3d model out of a concept?

22. how much time will i need for each assignment, and if i should try to develope atleast 1 concept from start to finish each week. For example do a Chow each week, or redesign a videogame character each week, from the initial idea to the illustration., aalongside with studies of a particular subject.

My original idea was for example: 1st week i study human anathomy, and meanwhile i do a chow, or redesign a character. 2nd week i study environments and meanwhile i do a Eow or redsing a game environment and so on with creatures etc..
This was an example, i would actually follow the plan and do 3 weeks of character and so on.

i think it is a good idea cause afterall visual developement is what i´m trying to accomplish in the first place, so doing it alongside with the studies makes perfect sense. The problem is that between the studies, the chows, and the indie developement i would end up with not too much life eheheh =) but i guess i´ll just try and see how it goes =)

So here is the new plan, comments and critiques welcome =P

ps. note that the deadlines refer to the first part of the subject study (if the goal is divided in sub-goals) as i found out that this gets me focused on the goal i have to do right away. uhm..lets say i have one subgoal planned for the 4th of january and another for the 17th, so that the actual goal based upon completion of both subgoals would be fullfilled the 17th of januari (when the second goal is completed aswell) If i write 17th of july to the whole goal i tend to think that the whole goal is due to the 17th of janury...not only the second part, but even the first...hope this makes sense, it actually made a huge difference to me while typing it =)

Plan to work as a concept artist at blizzard by 2010

0 - I can do it!!
1- Have a portfolio that shows my skills in concept art and illustration by 7 jan 2009
2 -Excellent understanding of human anathomy By 21 dec 2008
- Ablity to realistically render the human body in every pose, still or dynamic, and under different lighting situation. By 21 dec 2008
- Ability to depict different body types and ethnicity, aswell as ages and styles keeping a believable structure By 28 dec 2008
- Ability to alterate the human figure to create believable and unique semi human characters. By 4 jan 2009
3- Superior eye for light, value, composition , staging and detail in environment design. By 11 jan 2009
-Ability to create moody and evocative environments, using lighting, value, color and composition by 11 jan 2009
- realistically portray environments that give a sense of believability and life, with an eye for detail and stage characterization. By 18 jan 2009
4- Excellent understanding of creature anathomy By 25 jan 2009
-Ability to depict different creature types by 25 jan 2009
-Ablity to realistically render the creatures body in every pose, still or dynamic, and under different lighting situation. By 1 feb 2009
-Ability to alterate and blend different types of creatures to create new believable and unique races. By 8 feb 2009
5- Strong understanding of form and function By 9 feb 2009 Ø
6- Excelent industrial design skills By 15 feb 2009
-Understanding of machinery, how and why they work, their structure and functions. By 15 feb 2009
- Ability to 3 dimensionally depict realistically different types of machinery blending function and form by 22 feb 2009
- Ability to create relistic and believable concepts blending machinery together or with other creature or human components by1 march2009
Strong understanding of form, shape structure and silhouette in illustration and design. By 8 march 2009 Ø
- Understanding and excellent use of the elements and principles of design and how they apply to illustrations and design by 9 march 2009
-Use effectively the principles of design in both illustrations and designs. By 15 march 2009
7- Experience creating costumes, weapons and mechanical components and architecture based on different ages. By 22 march 2009
-Study the most important costume styles in history. Until you are able to reproduce them and alterate them realistically by 22 march 2009
-Study the most important architecture styles in history. Until you are able to reproduce them and alterate them realistically by 29 march 2009
-Study the most important weapon types in history. Until you are able to reproduce them and alterate them realistically by 5 april 2009
-Study the most important industrial designs(tanks, planes) in history. Until you are able to reproduce them and alterate them realistically by april 12th 2009
8- Be able to bring an idea from concept stage to final illustration By april 19th 2009
-Generate 2 ideas for a character/env/prop/creature and develope it throgh a visual developement process till you have a final illustration. (from a story or Chow/etc..) by aril 19th 2009
9- Be able to redesgn exsisting characters and environments in a more original and unique way By april 26th 2009
- Choose a character/env from an existing game and redsign it in an original fashion, paying special attention to the function/story it had in the game and the technical requirements. By april 26th 2009
10- Experience with the creationg of design blueprints for sets or environments By may 3rd 2009 Ø
- Choose a character/env design previously created and make a blueprint of it, to be used for modeling. By may 3rd 2009
11- Be able to bring and idea from concept to animated and textured 3d model character or environment By may 10th 2009
- Study the fundamental skills involved in modeling, texturing and animating a character in Maya or 3ds max by mary 10th 2009
-Take a previously designed character/environment and create a 3d modeled, textured and animated asset out of it. By may 17th 2009
12- Experience working in the pre-production of a game or movie by may 2009
-Join 1 indie game/movie developer team as a concept/2d artist. By jan 2009

Shipped a AAA title with a game company by 2010
-- Look up a number of interesting gamin companies and ask what they´d like to see in a portfolio, by 15 dec 2008
- Apply for concept/2d/3d artist job in several interesting companies shipping AAA games, by may 31th 2009
- Get hired by a AAA game shipping company by sept 2009

Work at blizzard:
Experience in the field: get hired as concept/2d/3d artist by a company producing a AAA game by sept 2009

Skills -> do 3 studies every day (life, mind and both) on your weakest subject every day from today

Portfolio showing the skills -> website that shows works related to: envronment design(5), char design(5) ,creature design(5), industrial design(5) and illustration(3), 2 3d chars, 1 3d env. By may 2009

Be engaged -> redesign existing characters, get to know people in the business commenting on their blogs/sketchbooks or chatting with them.

Numbers to focus on: 3 studies each day pubblished in the blog, 2 comments on other artists website/blog/sketchbook every day, 1 sketch pubblished in the sketchbook every day, 3 art-related things learnt every day, 1 character/env redesigned each week, 1work published on the website every week.

beliefs, take 2

today i wrote some more stuff about beliefs, or more in general about the things that are keeping me from reaching my goals. I find that writing what i think is a good way to keep me focused and brainstorm.

Why am i not there yet?
- i don´t have the practical skills to fit the concept artist position.
- i don´t believe i´m good enough
- i´m lazy
- i´m not motivated
- i´m not pushing myself outside my confort zone
- i don´t draw enough
- i don´t dream, i don´t think artistically, it´s becoming something mechanic
- i´m trapped in time, i think i don´t have time to do anything, and subsequently water lot of time not doing anything.
- i don´t think of it as a goal subcosciously, and don´t relate everything i do to it.
- i don´t think in an artistic way, mainly cause i don´t think i´m an artst yet. I see my-self as not good enough, but i don´t know what qualifies being goog enough. I´ll probaby never be good enough, as there is always a chance to be better and my goals will change everytime, so i´ll never be good enough. Ans that´s good, otherwise i´ll just stop at the beginning, thinking i´m good enough to do a crappy job. But i think that it´s not the purpuse of art, it´s not about being good enough, it´s about being passionate, and put yourself into what you do and have fun, like f you are a kid dreaming, but with more concrete results and knowledge. Then the results will come by-itself, and everytime you´ll try to push yoursef to reach better and better refults. Results that match the most the mental image you have of how your work should look like. And this mental image is influenced by things you see, knowledge you get, other artists and other people, and it´s the message you want to communicate with your art.
- I show the best learning attitude on sunday morning. I usually wake up and while in bed i get an idea, something to learn, something new to try, and i have the whole day to do it. I don´t feel any time constraint and i have a very positive mindset. It´s usually 1 goal i´m focused on the whole day long. It becomes: “the learn 3d day”, or “the learn environments day”. And those are the days in wich i usually learn the most. I mean, i can feel the improvement, i know what i am going to learn, and i learn it. This usually happens with something concrete, like learning to use a program, something that is easy to certify (constatare) a progress with. If you´ve never used a 3d program, and after a day you can create various types of models with it, then you made a progress. From 0 to 1 at least. I find it difficult for example with more abstract things. With composition for example. I don´t really know if i learnt something about it or not. Whether i got better at it or not. Probably it is because i don´t define the problem in the first place. In what sense are my compositional skills bad? What do i need to learn? If you study with a purpose, if you learn something specific, like: how to render a cube in different light situations, or what´s the anathomycal structure of an ape, you´ll know when you reach the goal, and it will be easier to create a plan to reach it. On the other hand if you study something fuzzy and not defined like: composition, then it will be hard to understand in wich sense you need to study, what is it exactly that you´re trying to learn. It´s the basic idea, of dividing each thing in it´s simplest parts, learn them and then combine the knowledge.
So, What is holding me back is that i don´t have a clear idea of what i need to learn in the first place, and thus makes it hard to study it. Also doesn´t really motivate me as it´s hard to immagine a concrete improvement in that specific area.
Also i spend most of the time thinking about what i should do instead of doing it. The reson is that i feel lazy about it, i don´t have motivation to do it, most of the times. My goal should then be to focus on a specific subject every day. Define the actual situation, the goal, and what´s the 1 skill that if developed in the best fashion would grant me the highest improvement in that subject.
And this also applies to a larger degree to my main goal. What one skill if learnt in an excellent fashion would grant me the most benefit toward the achievement of my goal?

yeah i´ve been hardcore listening to brian tracy´s audiobook =)

weekly assignments 3 (part2)

1st: mind´+ref - i wanted to mix a spide with a bird, so i got this crazy idea of having this sort of feathered spider, that would like attract preys in the forest with all his colors and stuff. But when i got the idea in my mind, then i got stuck. I found it hard to do on painter, and didn´t really know what reference to look for, got discouraged and well saving to jpg i also lost all the nice colors =)

2nd: mind - 6 creatures from mind, each with a different number of legs, focusing on simple dominant shapes.

the rest: photo - copied some photos of the creatures i had to design from mind. Tried to focus on structure and basic shapes, mostly understanding what made them unique. I tried to be a bit more precise on the turtle to prove to myself that i could actuallly get some proportions right =)

ok, yay, i made it =)
today was ok, i had a pretty easy deadline so i took some time to finish the creature assignments i was doing yesterday. some more stuff from mind and then i finished the chart with the creatures from mmagination.

i think its important in this case to review what i´ve done otherwise i will go on and make the same mistakes the next time...and i mean...one time is enough =)

The quadruped and biped show problems in understanding the leg anathomy.

1: is ok i think
2: fits the requirements but it´s a very boring design.
3: fits the requirements, but has anathomical problems, also the design is not really strong.
4: no design, and problems with legs.
5: is ok, again weak design
6: same as above =)

i understand the types at least, but i need to be more immaginative, and get a better understanding of anathomy.

i also tried to do a life + mind sketch, but i made the mistake of trying to also learn paint while doing it....and that thinking back was stupid, cause i couldn´t concentrate on the sketch...i was mostly trying to figure out how to do things. It actually worked ok at the beginning when i was working just wth the pattern brush, and the lasso tool and without any real idea in mind. But when i got some ideas going, then i felt like i didn´t have the knowledge to pull it off. So was just wandering through the painting waiting for a miracle that didn´t happen...
i wasn´t actually believing i would pull it off either =)

i had some thoughts about beliefs but i forgot them now, i´m getting sleepy and tomorrow will be a tough day, so i´ll better get some rest =)

weekly assignments 3 (part1)

Ok, this week is crazy, and the next will be worse, and so on till new year i guess aahah =)
anyway in the free time i´m taking things i´ve listed in my power point document, and trying to work on one of them at a time.
This week i´m working on creature anathomy. since and exceptional understanding of creature anathomy is a requirement i should meet, and at the moment i have 0 knowledge of that i thought it was about time to work on it.

I started from mike corriero´s mentoring thread on ca.org trying to adapt it to the 3 sketches workflow. In the first excersize he asks to draw 6 types of creatures differenciated by number of legs, but not only, most come from different classes ..(i guess...not so good with terminology yet =p)

anyway i started with copying reference pictures of each of this classes, i wasnt´concerned about rendering , but mor in understanding their structure, and how they "work", so that when i´ll go and do them from imamgination i know exactly what to draw and what not to draw...like antennae on spiders (that´s a nono =) i hope at least ahahha) i´m still a bit confused as you can see and i haven´t gone through all of the categories yet. 3 to go, hopefully i´ll finish by tomorrow =) i´ll probably try to do a more finished renderind as a 3rd sketch.

on a nother side, i wrote a pm to Trent Kaniuga today, who works as a concept artist at Blizzard, and ask him about some tips or more insightfull information about what they are looking for at blizzard and so on...
He was very kind, and told me to get involved in game developement right from the start, in indie, or flash game developement, cause experience and skills are mostly what they are looking for at large companies like blizzard, more than a stunning portfolio, even if things go along..but even if you have a strong portfolio, you still need experience...he also suggested me to try and redesign pre-existing characters and environments (etc..etc.) , trying to push the original design design but paying attention to the function they have in the game.
Also he insisted that it´s important not to get dscouraged if you don´t get the job at the first time, try again, re-applying after some time with updated portfolio and resume, and they´ll start remembering you. =)

i was inspired by his message to do more eheh, now the thing that it´s most hard for me is to find a way in this load of "to do" stuff =). But that´s why i have a plan i guess, just stick to the plan!! =p

weekly assignments 2

1st image: (mind + ref) = tried to get mood through light and composition, tried to incorporate photos in it. Everything is taken from photos and then painted over, i had a b/w thumbnail as a guide. i didn´t paint from reference though...but i don´t know why...wanted to make it fast..but it didn´t go really fast..(3hrs)

other imgs: (from ref) = the one on the left is the original, i tried to get the value range, and understand how the material would react to light.

ok, this week i haven´t done much...thing is i tried to make illustrations for 2 different contests, while also working on a board game project with a friend that is 3weeks late compared to the schedule (and we got 20 days left =) eheh ).
I ended up doing 2 different illustrations just for one contest, having lots of problems with composition and giving a sense to my pieces, and concepts.

i did some studies on materials and value, since i was a bit struggling with them in the latest studies last week. uhm...i also reworked my goals and made a power point document, quite detailed and that i can update whenever i learn something more. i took the requirements to work as a concept artist at blizzard as they are stated on their site, and tried to understand what it meant, what was required to know, and what´s my actual knowledge. I can say i´m no where near 10% of the knowledge i should have ahahahha, some things like creature anathomy, or industrial design, are completely unknown to me, and i really struggle with environments, but this is giving me atleast a good view on the situation, and whenever i want i can go and pick a subject to learn and get closer to my goal.
For example today i started working with 2 -3 different programs or visual medias to get better results( ie: using photos in my concept art to speed the process (even though it took double time inthe end =) , and learning a 3d program to then import rendered images in ps). I also understood a bit of composition, and simple ways to making it work at a basic level (even if i continue to screw it up uncosciously =) )
uhm..anyway i still have problems believing that i suck at art, wich is directly related to me sucking at art xD and vice versa =)

after 4th or 5th week now, i still haven´t got good at focusing on important stuff, i continue to do 30 things at a time, and this sucks...cause i can´t study, but then again, i like doing them, and they keep me in contact wth people, so i guess they have their purpose =)

gonna sleep some now, take care! (whoever will be reading this =) )

moar stuffz

i did 2 from mind and reference, trying to select some specific areas to focus on, i tried to increase the number of things at a time, the ones i thought i could manage together, in the first one for example i chose: anathomy, color, values, creativity and detail. Eventually as soon as i started i forgot all of those i just kept anathomy and tried some creativity at the beginning. I´m a bit obsessed with time, in the sense that i tried to finish what i´m doing in around 2 hours whatever it is i´m doing, and since rendering takes much time i tend to rush the creative part at the beginning and hook up to the first idea the i have without developing cause i don´t want to loose time. Uhm..gah that´s stupid =) i developed this habit by looking at all those beautifully 2h sped up videos, and i think, if they do it in 2 hours i must be able to do it to...uhm...but i guess art is not a race and i have to give the drawings their time.
I also notced while doing the first that i tended to waste much time doodling between the first 10 minutes in wich i create the concept and the last 40 in with i render stuff out. That leaves more or less 70 minutes in wich i do nothing significant to the piece. ahah maybe that´s a bit too much but it gives the idea. I found the reason for this to be the fact that i can´t really decide on small stuff, i get caught in small details, like the stripes on a scarf for 10 minutes, and the paint everything over cause i realize the pose was wrong maybe, and when i´m back to the scarf, maybe i won´t even paint it xD
in the second painting then i tried to be a little more concrete, so after i had the basic idea down, (which took like 2 minutes, and didn´t evolve much from that ) i immediately started to render the face, as it´s the most importat spot, and would have define the character the most. After that i was already in render mode, so i rendered everything out without doodling much...i would say at all actually...uhm...but still the concept sucks so i´ll try to work more on that.
In the second i wanted to focus on anathomy, costume design, detail and texture. I got maybe none of them =) but i tried to get the materials right =) then i realized that materials and texture are no necessarily the same thing...i was paying attention to the way light hit the surface, and not to the surface itself...uhm
The backgrounds could use some more love =) but i wasn´t focusing on that...
i got more psycological stuff but it´s time to cook something now =)

from mind

1st: i tried to focus on drawing a head in a particular expression and pose i had in mind. Tried to use what i had learnt yesterday and in the days before doing some head "studies". In the beginning i intended to do a portrait of Odin, lacking an eye, that´s why he´s got a pretty bad designed fake eye with not really defined things on the cheek bone=) But again i wasn´t focusing on design, i just wanted the head and the expression to feel right...i´m not sure i did though, some construction problems, and the position of the eye on the left really stand out.

2nd: i tried to focus on values and texture here, tried to give him different materials in the outfit and rnder them as i thought they should look like...the chest piece was supposed to be made of bones..the material at least =) head piece metal, cloth -> cloth, gun metal, the thing behind the back some kind of red ceramic, and the band across the chest of some kind of heavy cloth. The design is completely fucked up =) and that pissed me off a lot in the beginning, I intended to stop after 10 minutes of scribling on the paper, but i´m trying to work on my endurance, and bring stuff to completion, so i worked on it for 1 and a half hour more =) (2 hours for that crap??? =p but thats what i´m really thinking, even if i laugh now =) )


3rd: yesterday before going to sleep i was doodling, and i happened to have a face, so i tried to include in it, the 2 things i had learnt from the 2 drawings from photograf that i had previously done=) ehhe cool!

ok, i did 2 more from mind uhm....i´m having a hard time with beliefs...especially the one that says: "i suck as an artist, and i all i draw is crap" wich has got me from drawing the past 21 years of my life =)
I need to convince me to believe that i´m a great artist, but every time i try, i have this voice telling me: you suck!! xD ahahah it´s quite fun actually, untill i start drawing in this negative status and the drawing sucks, an then i say, ok, now i proved that i suck, let´s prove that i´m a great artist, and so i start to refine the picture untill it looks decent...i just need to skip the first part now...=) remove the belief that i suck...i´ll try to find a solution while sleeping, so tomorrow i´ll produce some mindblowing art =) really...i´m starting to realize that it´s all there, if i think i´ll do amazing art (most of the times because i see it in my mind) then i just sit down and do it, otherwise i just draw some marks, and start telling my self that it sucks, i´m not drawing everything, they look like scribbles, and the drawing is lost (usually this happens after 10 seconds, if i don´t start warning myself that i will draw random scribbles at the beginning untill i come with an idea)...if i start with the idea of producing something, without nowing what it is, and then of course failing at it, because i´m expecting to take the rabit out of the hat without having any rabit in it, i become negative and tired...uhm..nice...this sort of talking through my thoughts, is really helpfull to me...otherwise i would loose focus quite fast =)

i have some life drawings, i´ll try to put up tomorrow,
cheers!

maybe...

i´m starting to see where this is going...but i´m not completely there yet =)
in these 2 i tried to work on 2-3 things only: visualize the drawing, focus on proportions and structure.

in the first one i didn´t focus much on structure, not hard to tell =), but i did intend to get proportions right and visualize it before drawing it. I think that visualizing it didn´t work at all, it´s hard to do it if you don´t have a way to separate all the little bits that create a so complex image i guess. Maybe i should try to focus on visualizing just the most important thing..the eyes for example..but that´s something i thought only now.. =) But as i said i did intend to work on the prportions...and as you can see...they really don´t work =) it´s a pretty fucked up face, eyes doing strange things, and so on...i felt a bit constrained by the charcoal, so i didn´t get to erase much, but still what i realized later i that...i wasn´t focusing on the proportions at all.

When i did the second one, i started with a not so positive mood, tried to visualize it longer, look at the relationships between the features, tried to draw it abit in my mind, but it didn´t really work that well at first...this time i worked with pencil so i was more carefully erasing and adjusting things...but it didn´t really seem to work well untill i decided that...i had to do it right...eheh otherwise why doing it? so i simply started to check for proportions with the pencil, and fix stuff. Eventually i saved a bit of the expression but still it´s not a good likeness. What is important though is that i actually felt like learning something ...maybe for the first time...i though, ok the chin and the turning of the lips are on the same vertical line....that´s something i can use in my nxt drawing, and i´m sure i will!!! uhm...but that was it ehehe i´m quite sure i thought about some more stuff i could remember but now i don´t really recall =) Anyway as i said i´m starting to see where this is going..and it´s very interesting =)

one more thing is that in the first one i neglected the use of measurements, because i feel that i´mso bad at eteballing proportions that i should try and do it without taking measurements, as an exercize. Now...that can be good if my goal is to learn guessing proportions...BUT if my goal is to learn the proportions of the face to remember them later on in another drawing...then i should by all means use measurements..otherwise i can´t really expect to learn much by guessing...=)

i feel good about this, i´ll force my-self to continue on this path ahah...

now some sleep, tomorrow life-drawing =)

yes!

Week 3: beliefs

Beliefs:

What are my beliefs on my self, what is holding me back from being the artist and the person that i want to be?

In many cases, especially in relations with people i think i´m not good enough to do a crtain thing. i see myself as not being able to do that, i don´t have fear of failure, i´m sure of failure and i try just for fun not expecting much from it. This is probably a defence from my fear of failure. If i don´t give much importance or credit to what i´m doing i won´t disappoint myself or other people when i will fail. If i fail, well that´s something i already took for granted, so it´s not really something new, but if i succede then it will be a big step forward. I think this is a 2 edged sword, because, yes it is true that failure is part of the learning process and shouldn´t be considered as something bad for it-self, but by reacting this way to the problem i´m just giving up to the challange even before trying and not really pushing my-self to overcome my problem. Of course this doesn´t happen always, many times i would think that something is really simple to solve, especially when it comes to other people´s problems...then why don´t i have the same solution orientation towards me aswell? I think it depends mostly on bad habits and beliefs. I know at the moment that i can do whatever i want, i know it, and i say the same thing to other people, evento myself. But it doesn´t come as an automathic attitude towads things. Actually this belief that i can do whatever i want, holds me back from doing stuff most of the time...ehehe i know that if i want i can cook very well, i don´t really need to prove it to myself, but it would require time, and well maybe tomorrow...Lazyness is one of my main problems....even though i´m not sure it is a belief...i don´t believe that i´m lazy...no wait...i actually do...uhm...i´m sure that i´m lazy, because i am...but i´m also trying to overcome this problem, by forcing myself to do stuff that i don´t want to do...as an excercize. Maybe i should start to think that i´m active..uhm...i´m starting to uderstand why it is suggsted to write all the goals in a positive personal and present way. It´s to convince yourself that you are actually there, to start subconciously think that you are what you want to become, and thus start acting like it....uhm...I am active...i am very active...=) good we got something here, but there are more beliefs i have to get rid of... socially i think i believe i´m a funny person, that looks stupid to others, and for that reason makes them laugh...still a kid in many ways, i´m probably still seeing myself as the same kid that at school was scared of touching another girl´s hand, and that´s why in many ways i still am...ahahah cool! i like where this is going =) the more i think about it, the more i realize that have a pretty restricted and childish view of myself. Uhm..going back to being funny, i sometimes like that, sometimes i do it on purpose to say something stupid, maybe faking to misunderstand something to make someone laugh..uhm...i guess mosly cause it proves to me that i know what makes people laugh and that i can make the laugh if i want...uhm..still it´s quite childish in it-self, even though i like makin people laugh, and i like when people are happy...but i don´t like to be taken for a stupid ahahah, uhm...but still atleast i´m aware of it now...
Also this could be an interesting addiction to why i tend to be a different person in sweden and in italy. A bit is depending on the language, we develope certain language patterns, and we subconsciously answer in a certain way to certain imputs...for example, when being showed somthing new i didn´t know the existence of in sweden i would say: cool!, in italy i would say: that´s crap!...and well in italy i would use a fouler language, cause i´m used to it, everybody does, and i subcontiously learnt to use certain terms instead of others. But i guess that in sweden, in the first year when i didn´t know the language, and was mostly silent, listening and thinking, i developed a different personality...and then when i go back to italy i retain only a little bit of it...uhm...I probably has also to do with my beliefs, of being or being able to become a different person here in sweden, and still being trapped in my old self while in italy...
I also find that sometimes my beliefs are influenced by the way i dress. It surely is not a direct influence, but more of something like: i think that if i dress that way i am cool, then i dress that way, and even if i don´t look so cool to myself , i still feel cool...because of a subconscious belief i guess...
And the same thing goes to when i play drums of guitar...uhm...when i think i´m doing good, then i enjoy it, and also feel like i´m playing well...if i believe i´m not performing well, then i start playing badly...uhm..
Another thing i noticed is that when someone is given a tip, or an opinion, or maybe a lecture on something that is supposed to change their way of thinking, we tend to only internalize only that which is inside our comfort zone and tend to forget the rest...for example if i tell someone to to pay attention at the skin tones, don´t draw the same cloths and try to draw more often. It´s very unlikely that they will do all of them, if they haven´t already thought about it. They will probably draw more, as they already think it´s necessary, but if they don´t understand that there is something wrong with the skincolors they are using or with the cloth designs...they will probably continue doing it. It´s normal, but it´s interesting if we apply it to ourselves. Many times i got advices and i probably applied the same rule for subconsciously choosing wich ones to follow...if i think at this in terms of proportion, i feel the need to find a sort of system to overcome the subconscious mechanism that separates comfortable advices from the uncomfortable ones. It got very long, and i´m cutting it here for now, but i hope i´ll add more soon.=)

Weekly assignments

1st: life
2nd:mind
3rd: mind
4th: mind/life WIP The girl is from a photo but the pose and angle are different, and there is no car...I tried to focus on textures of the jeans, likeness of the face, and finding an idea behind the pice...i wanted a pin-up style thing, but i´m not sure about it now...i don´t like the car, mainly the colors, i am doubtfull about the colors. I suppose (because i got used to it) that the immage is too saturated everywhere, so the next step will be to desaturate even more the background, and keep more focus on the face. I will also have the dark part of the background come a little to the left of the immage to add more contrast to the face. (i didn´t do it now because the face i messed up and more contrast would have shown it really badly =)..i tried xD )

Hello!
thi morning i found a comment by mark, and i was really happy and motivated eheh. But i didn´t really do any setches as i was attending a 24hours workshop at school so i spent the day thinking about a concept to develope and then freezing in the rain trying to take some pictures for a surrealistic image...Lachapelle style =) I ended up drawing humoristic comic strips and i´m still not done with it, but it´s late..too late to actually think about some funny joke in swedish xD

Last weeks sketches that i´m posting now focused on hands, i did many quikc sketches of hands everywhere is was, then i focused some more time to do these 2 ones. Trying to get the anathomy right, without much success, but after a week i think i got the hand of it, so next i´ll go with some heads, that are my other weakest point.
I´ve listened through the whoal book : goals , and i found it very insightfull. Some stuff i knew, some i supposed, some i didn´t know...but hearing it said from someone else had a different sound in my ears, and seriously got me thinking =) I´ll have to listen to it some more times though to get all the informations into my brain xD Anyway i´ve started to state my 10 goals 2 times a day, but as of now i still find myself really out of focus, so i´m trying to select just one goal i want to pursue each day, and write down 20 or so, ways to achieve it, then trying to work on them.
I previously thought that it was easier to draw something that i knew, that i could see in my mind, but didnt really pay much attention to it. Some times i could nail a drawing in 2 seconds, really 2, not 3 =) other times i would doodle on a piece for 3 hours and not get a single line right...=) i really think that it all depended by the ideas i had in my mind. If you don´t have any idea in your mind is hard to draw it...everyone can draw a square, because we know how it looks like, we know the structure, it´s stored in our brain, and we can reproduce it always in every situation or angle. But most important we can see it clearly in our mind, clear, we can see ourselves drawing it, each line, even the color of the graphite on the paper...but i can also draw cubes...i can see myself draw cubes, so why can´t i see myself drawing ipods, or cars, or people...we all dream, and in our dreams we have fully rendered humans, and cars. This means that, at least in part, we should be able to see those things in our minds, and if you can see it in our mind, then you can draw it, it just requires patience, and focus...at least to me. But then these images might not be as detailed as the reality itself, we probably have blanks in some parts, that´s when life drawing should come and fill the gaps, i think... But for example as far as concepting and drawing from mind, it´s all in our minds, we see monsters in our minds everyday, and if we can just stop and focus, on them, we can render them in our minds first, and then nail them in 2 seconds. I tried this yesterday and it worked. I didn´t nail all the details, but that´s because i didn´t focus on them while visualizing the character in my mind. The more you previsualize, the more you´ll be able to draw right away. Aftrall drawing is just mark making. The marks you make depend on your brain, and on what your brain tells your arm and hand to do. The more clear your brain knows what the result should be the more clearly it can give orders to the hand to make it happen...uhm...maybe i´ll find out that it´s more complicated..but for now i´m quite sure it works this way =) now i only have to be more courageous and stop thinking: i´m gonna draw some crap now, before i try to draw something new =)

i´m positive yes! i need to focus more though =) now sleep=)