Thursday, December 18, 2008

day of structure

1st: ref>i tried to get balance and rythm in the gesture first and then work on the form. there are some problems with the structure of it. it looks like its falling, problably a problem in the gesture and carried over. also it doesn´t really feel that the hand and feet are supporting the weight. they should both be a bit more on the right probably.
2nd: mind> at the beginning it was supposed to be a basketball player, then i made it another interpretation. i like the gesture but the legs crossing really don´t work. His left leg is probably 2 times the other one ahaha. uhm... it looks a bit skinny i think, maybe flat aswell...i probably didn´t accentuate the 3 dimensionality very well. especially in the left leg and torso. The pelvis is wrong on the side, it´s like collapsing on itself =p and he has no butt.
3rd: ref+mind> started from a photo, did gesture and construction and then drew over it. I really find that mmagination is what is stopping me. I don´t think while i draw, probably cause i try to do them both at the same time, and it´s hard to draw something you haven´t yet decided upon.
So for example i´m drawing the arm and i have the pen ready and try to think while i draw. and it goes like: "i think her arm should probably... have..." and meanwhile i have already traced the same lines i had previously copied from the photo, and added some random other lines following the form. At that point i start thinking like, ok i don´t have ideas, i want to finish this because it´s 1 am and i needed to finish an hour ago, so let´s just draw something. This is the point where i can choose wheter i should think or paint, and i know now that the right choise is think. But it looks so hard when i´m there, and i still have no subconcious messages telling me to do it eheh But i know that drawing is just a from of expressing what you think. Like talking and writing. If you don´t have anything to say, you wouldn´t talk, or be prepared to say stupid stuff. The same goes for drawing, but i´m noticing that the act of drawing is becoming more of something i must do, rather than something i´m inspired to do.
I mean i don´t think: "aha! i have this crazy idea, let´s draw it!. "
i actually think: "ok i have to draw something to get better, let´s draw something" usually that something is based on no idea, as i don´t take my timethinking about what i´m gonna draw.
this is something i should stop asap, otherwise it could become a bad habit!! eheh
i wanna sleep now,
bye xD

i´m in italy now, i was yesterday aswell, and there is much more stuff going on here, so drawing, and concentrating on my plan is being quite hard. I knew it would hae been so, but i´m taking it as a test of my willpower hehe.
i noticed that some habits i´ve been trying to develope are actually paying off now.
1. everytime try not to do something cause i´m lazy, i subconscioulsy impose my-self to do that
2. i´m starting to listen to this subconscious part, and actually doing it =)

it works 60% of the time now, i think i was at like 10% 2 weeks ago eheh. But really every time i actually do something i don´t want to do, i end up feeling better. I think it depends on me being actually in control of what i´m doing, rather than just drifting away along the day heh. i have asked my self why then, i´m actually trying not to do certain/most of the things in the first place. If i think about it now, i guess it´s because most of the times they are not planned and even if they are simple tasks, it´s easier to continue on our way rather than stop, do the task, and the continue. By easy i don´t have to change your plans/mind/idea. Also, most of the times i experience this is because i´m already drifting away along the day...if i´m active and focused on something, and then positive, i can do most of the sudden and unplanned tasks. Of course i´m used not to do them, so the first reaction is trying no to do them, and justifying this, but then my other unconsious habit (forcing myself to do what i don´t want to do) kicks in, and i start thinking that i should do it. Now at this point if i´m in an active and positive state of mind i would do it, and then feel in control of my life and better and so on...otherwise i would not do that and then complain for not having done that...eheh.
The curious thing is that this continues to happen, and at times i´m consious of doing the wrong thing, but i go for it anyway =(
Another interesting thing is that at the time when i have to chose between doing and not doing something, that things appears like the hardest and more complicated thing in the world, even if everytime i do it, or think about it after a while, it always proves to be something really simple. That is to say that really, the thing that matters the most is the way you look at it. =)

p.s. yes i the stuff that comes first was wrote after =) hehe (because it was a commentary to the sketches, wich i comment after writing the other thoughts.. =) )
pp.s. hey nightvision thanks for your support! love the stuff you´re doing, keep it up!

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